Having one piece of chocolate and feeling satisfied is that even possible? Congratulation if you are that person! You are born with the best will-power and I would do anything to be like you. These were my thoughts a few years ago. But I realized that it wasn’t true, the secret to a nourishing relationship with food was something completly differnt.
I used to think like if something was wrong with me because I just couldn’t resist that second, third or even fourth piece of chocolate. Instead I would have the entire chocolate bar/ bag of nuts/ dried fruits or whatever and end up feeling guilty afterwards. I would beat myself up, by deprivation and restrictions to make up for my bad will-power. The following days I would eat yogurt, apples, carrots and salads (low in calories you know) and workout like a maniac for a few days or up to a week until I “fell back”. Because I just couldn’t continue, my cravings were too strong and the workouts too hard. So I gave up and ended up in the grocery store, in front of the candy and it was no way out of it. I bought that bag of candy again, leaving the store feeling guilty but like if just had to go ahead and do it.
You can see what’s going on here, I was back again where I had started just a few days ago. It was a circle that was making me smaller and smaller, I felt worse after every single “failure” and it took me further and further away from a skinnier body and a happier me. Or at least, that was what I thought would make me happier and change my life to the better.
Listen inwards instead of to what everyone else is saying
My story is unique, but not uncommon at all. I meet clients every week, who have gone through a similar path. We are obviously affected by the diet mentality, the society’s belief of diets and one solution fits all mentality and the promise of giving you the life you want. So we give food power; we let it become a ventile for our emotions, a tool to control our weight and a way to communicate who we are.
However, if we instead of listening to everyone else and the world outside ourselves and would start listening more inwards, to ourselves, we could take better care of what needs to healed. Which means that food wouldn’t have as much power as it has for many of us today. Because when we listen inwards, rather than outside of ourselves, the need for that chocolate becomes less important. But why? For the reason that we already feel like we are in control, in touch with ourselves and our emotions. Frankly, by allowing ourselves to stop for a couple of minutes every day to simply just ask ourselves how we are doing, we have come a long way.
Dare to meet the uncomfortable feelings
“I am feeling kind of down”.
What does feeling “down” mean to you?
“It’s like I feel worthless”.
What does “worthless” mean to you?
Why? Has something in particular caused this?
Heal your relationship and become more balanced
You see, when we start diving deeper into our emotions, we start to understand ourselves better and when we understand, it’s easier to accept and move on.
I have come to realize, that my own old beliefs about these people who only had one or two pieces of chocolate wasn’t the reality. It wasn’t mainly about restrictions and a strong will-power. The secret is that they eat for a different reason than what I used to, (they including me nowadays) ate because they really enjoyed it, because it tasted good, not because they had have a discussion with their best friend and felt like they needed the chocolate to feel better.
If you want to change your relationship with food, start by: Listening to yourself, ask yourself how you are doing and dare to dive into it, don’t just say “I feel lonely” – what does “lonley” mean for you in this specific situation? Define it! To change a relationship with food takes time and is a different journey for everyone. However you are luckily the one with the power – you are the one who can make the decision to move forward towards a healthier relationship with food and more satisfying life.